Motherhood’s Emotional Rollercoaster: A Postpartum Therapist in Denver Weighs In

Motherhood cracks you wide open — your heart overflows with love and joy, but it also comes with huge changes, unpredictability, and outside pressures that can make motherhood feel overwhelming.

Did it feel like you stepped onto an emotional rollercoaster the moment you became a mom? As a postpartum therapist in Denver, I see many new moms struggling with overwhelm, dysregulation, and even unexpected postpartum rage. If you’ve felt these emotional ups and downs in motherhood, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about why it happens and how to navigate it.

Why Do Moms Feel So Emotional?

Physical Changes

Your body goes through so much to grow a baby for 9 months (actually 10 months if you go to 40 weeks), labor, deliver, and then recover. After birth, your hormones take a dramatic nosedive, which can leave you feeling teary one minute and fine the next. Your breasts may feel swollen and sore as your milk comes in, and you might leak at the most inconvenient times (because of course). There’s the cramping as your uterus shrinks back down, the exhaustion from sleepless nights, and maybe even some hair falling out in the shower. And let’s not forget the pelvic floor struggles — sneezing or laughing might feel like a gamble now (and if this continues, please make sure to get support from a pelvic floor physical therapist).

A Foreign Body

It’s a lot, and it’s no wonder you might not feel like yourself right away. Being in your postpartum body can feel foreign — like you don’t quite recognize yourself. All of this is completely normal. Your body just did something incredible, and it’s okay (and necessary) to give yourself time to heal.

Sleep Deprivation

Sleep deprivation is a well known torture tactic for a reason — it makes everything harder, from regulating emotions to making decisions and practicing patience. Your brain and body are working overtime to heal and care for a baby, all while running on fumes.

Your Window of Tolerance

In postpartum therapy in Denver, I often talk with moms about the window of tolerance—our capacity to handle stress. When we’re sleep deprived, that window shrinks, making even small challenges feel unbearable. That’s why the spilled milk, the endless crying, or the forgotten grocery list can feel like the last straw. It’s not because you’re failing — it’s because your nervous system is running on empty. Recognizing this helps you meet yourself with more compassion — you’re not incapable, you’re exhausted.

Sensory Overload

The constant noise, chatter, crying, and chaos in the background; the feeling of being touched, climbed on, or pulled at all day; managing transitions and getting everyone out of the house; the stress and mess of feeding everyone; driving while managing questions, arguments, and requests; the overwhelming sight of clutter and unfinished chores — and the list goes on. When your senses are constantly going, your nervous system stays in a heightened state, making it hard to relax or even think clearly.

Processing Sensations

For moms who are neurodivergent or identify as highly sensitive, this overload can hit even harder. Too much sensory input can lead to feelings of overwhelm, frustration, or even anger — not because you’re doing something wrong, but because your brain and body are processing more than they’re designed to handle. It’s why you might find yourself snapping at your kids or needing to step away just to breathe. Recognizing that this isn’t a failure, but a sign that you need to regulate, can help you meet these moments with more compassion.

Lack of Support

If you are mothering in the United States, you are probably aware of the many ways the country fails to support its mothers. The U.S. is one of the only developed countries without a guaranteed paid maternity leave policy, leaving many families to make difficult financial decisions about work and childrearing. The high cost of childcare often creates a burden that falls disproportionately on mothers, forcing many to reduce work hours or leave the workforce entirely.

The Contribution to Overwhelm & Isolation

Postpartum care is often limited to a single six-week checkup, leaving mothers to navigate physical recovery and mental health struggles with little guidance. As a therapist in Denver working with new moms, I see firsthand how many Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (like postpartum anxiety and depression) go undiagnosed and untreated. Healthcare disparities, especially for Black mothers, contribute to the highest maternal mortality rate among developed nations. Add to this, the societal pressure to “do it all” without adequate structural or financial support — it’s no wonder so many mothers feel overwhelmed and alone.

Maternal Rage

Between hormonal shifts, physical changes, sleep deprivation, sensory overload, lack of support, and the constant mental load, it’s no surprise that many moms experience intense irritability — or even rage. But here’s the thing: maternal rage is real, and it’s more common than people think. It can feel overwhelming and even scary, especially when no one talks about it. So, let’s talk about it!

When Emotions Feel Unmanageable

Many moms feel ashamed for snapping at their kids or partners, losing patience over small things, or feeling emotions that seem too big to handle. But this isn’t a personal failing — it’s a sign that your nervous system is overloaded and unsupported. Motherhood can bring up deep emotions we weren’t prepared for, and without the right support, it’s easy to feel like we’re drowning. If you’ve ever felt like you don’t recognize yourself in moments of frustration, you’re not alone, and there is support available to you.

How to Cope with the Emotional Roller Coaster of Motherhood

Many mothers I talk to in my practice weren’t prepared for how difficult the transition to motherhood would be. While some feel relatively prepared for birth after taking classes or reading up on it, postpartum is often a different story. Many moms feel blindsided by how unprepared they were for the emotional and physical challenges of the fourth trimester — and it’s not your fault. U.S. society does a poor job of supporting and preparing mothers for what comes after birth. Let’s talk about how you can feel more supported in your motherhood journey and approach it with greater self-compassion.

Learning to Ride the Waves Instead of Controlling Them

Unpredictability is part of motherhood. No matter how much you prepare, the reality of raising children is often messy and unpredictable. Although it’s easier said than done, learning to accept that many parts of motherhood are out of your control can feel like a relief. You can’t always control your child’s mood or sleep patterns or whether they suddenly refuse the food they loved yesterday, but you can control how you respond.

And I’m not talking about perfection — just showing up with care and doing your best in that moment. You can choose to repair after hard moments, ask for help when you need it, say “no” to things that drain you, and let go of rigid expectations about what motherhood “should” look like. Acceptance isn’t about giving up — it’s about learning to stay grounded even when things feel chaotic.

Presence Versus Productivity Mindset

Part of learning to ride the waves of motherhood instead of trying to control them is shifting from a productivity mindset to a presence mindset. So many of the mothers I work with struggle to let go of the pressure to be constantly accomplishing — checking off tasks, managing the household, and measuring their worth by how much they get done. This drive toward productivity is deeply rooted in capitalism, but motherhood isn’t meant to be measured in output. Your value as a mother (and as a person) is not tied to how much you get done in a day.

As a therapist for moms in Denver, I notice that mothers who are able to adopt more of a presence mindset — focusing on being with their children rather than doing for them — tend to feel more grounded. Being present means slowing down, noticing the small moments, and allowing yourself to respond from a regulated place rather than rushing through the day. It’s sitting on the floor and letting the laundry pile up for a few days. It’s holding space for a meltdown without needing to fix it immediately. It’s recognizing that connection matters more than productivity. When you release the pressure to “get it all right,” you create space for more ease and connection.

Managing Intense Emotions & Postpartum Rage

Pause & Breathe

When it comes to regulating emotions, breathwork is one of the simplest yet most powerful tools you have — and it’s always accessible. Your breath is directly connected to your nervous system, which means that how you breathe can shift how you feel. When you pause and take slow, deep breaths before responding, you are sending a signal to your body that it’s not an emergency — you’re not being chased by a bear — and that you are safe. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system (your body’s calming response), helping you shift from fight-or-flight mode into a more grounded state. Even one deep breath can help soften the intensity of the moment and give you the clarity to choose how you want to respond.

Move Your Body

Emotions can get stuck in your body if you don’t release them. Over time, this buildup can feel like a pressure cooker — eventually spilling over as irritability, anxiety, or overwhelm. Sound familiar? Movement helps release this stored energy, giving your emotions a way out. And it doesn’t have to be an intense workout — shaking it out, stretching, or going for a walk can be enough to help you feel more grounded and regulated. Even small, intentional movement can make a big difference.

Creative Expression

As an art therapist in Denver, I’ve seen how powerful creative expression can be for processing intense emotions because it engages your whole system — mind, body, and spirit. When you involve all parts of yourself in the healing process, you create deeper, more lasting relief. Writing, artmaking, or dancing naturally brings you into the present, soothes your nervous system, and gives your emotions a safe way to move through you. And it doesn’t have to be complicated — journaling your thoughts, making simple marks on a page that reflect your mood, or dancing around the kitchen to your favorite playlist all count. It’s not about creating something perfect — it’s about making space for your emotions and letting them flow.

Finding a Support System

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about motherhood, both personally and professionally, it’s that it’s easier when you don’t feel alone. It’s so easy to get caught up in social media highlight reels, where other moms seem to “have it all together,” making you feel like your struggles are unwarranted or like you’re failing. Hopefully, this blog post has helped you feel less alone and validated that so many moms are riding the emotional rollercoaster of motherhood — not because they’re doing something wrong, but because of the lack of support in our culture. Finding a group of moms who are honest about the hard parts, who won’t sugarcoat the struggles, can be life-changing. A solid support system can help you feel seen, supported, and less alone in the ups and downs of motherhood.

You’re Not Failing: Motherhood is Hard

Emotional ups and downs are a normal part of motherhood. But sometimes, the highs and lows can start to interfere with your daily life, making it hard to feel like yourself. If your emotions feel too overwhelming to manage on your own, you’re not failing — your brain and body are adjusting to a massive life shift, and that takes time. But, you don’t have to navigate it alone, and you deserve support.

If you’re looking for a supportive space to explore these challenges and reconnect with yourself, working with a postpartum therapist in Denver can help you feel more grounded and supported. If this resonates with you, I’d love to connect — schedule a free clarity session for counseling in Denver today.