Matrescence: Honoring the Transition into Motherhood
Hi readers—we have a very special treat on the blog today. I’d like to welcome our first guest blogger, Paige DiChiara!
She is a somatic psychotherapist, yoga teacher, doula, mother, and creator of The Embodied Mom Method. She believes pregnancy, birth, and motherhood is a spiritual portal that can be harnessed to activate massive shifts in your life. Paige is invested in this work because she believes the ripple effects of supporting mothers is profound enough to change the world. I’m absolutely with you, Paige!
Paige and I connected over our shared passion for supporting modern mothers in creative, embodied ways, and I’ve been inspired by her work ever since. I’m thrilled she’s sharing her perspective on matrescence with us today.
Let’s dive into her beautiful post, Matrescence: Honoring the Transition into Motherhood, and discover how we can approach the transformational life stage of motherhood with curiosity and compassion.
If you are pregnant, considering becoming pregnant, or in the throes of motherhood, you are probably experiencing a whole slew of changes and confronting emotions. You’re not alone in this experience and there is actually a name for the stage of life you are in—Matrescence!
The concept of Matrescence was first introduced in 1975 by anthropologist Dana Raphael, but is more important than ever given the complexities and varied experiences modern motherhood presents today. Matrescence is the metamorphosis that occurs when a woman moves from being without offspring to mother or again from mother of 1 to 2, etc. We can think of it as a stage like adolescence that comes with various changes in an individual’s life. While this post will focus on birthing women, Matresence is a state also experienced by adoptive, surrogate, and non-biological mothers—each with their own flavor or nuance.
Matresence is a stage of transformation that touches nearly all aspects of a woman’s life. There are biological, psychological, social, physiological, ecological, and spiritual shifts that occur when a woman gives birth. If this sounds like a lot, that’s because it is! Feeling uncertain during a seismic shift is normal and adaptive.
Some common emotions that surface in Matrescence are:
Ambivalence
Change in identity
Confronting hidden emotions
Confusion
Joy
Loss/ Grief
Rage
Sense of unity and purpose
Shifting values
A hallmark of this phase is that you might feel contradictory emotions at the same time or even all of these in one day. While it can absolutely feel like a roller coaster of emotion, Matresence offers us the opportunity to relate to these changing feelings with compassion.
Rather than “When will I feel like myself again?” the opportunity becomes “Who am I becoming on the other side of this transformation?”
A Quick Exercise
Take a deep breath and think back to your adolescence when you were going through puberty… Can you remember how you felt about yourself? How your body and identity were in a process of change? How the way you saw yourself and others suddenly seemed foreign or strange? Were there elders or safe adults to turn to as you processed these changes?
A common refrain of postpartum women is, “When will I get back to normal?” But through the lens of Matresence there is no going back and what a thing that is to be embraced!
When we think of Matresence akin to the developmental stage of adolescence, we do not expect a 17 year old to have the same identity, beliefs, desires, or values as a 12 year old. A similar shift occurs in the maturation of a woman into motherhood.
That doesn’t mean it can’t be an awkward and uncomfortable transition to “the new normal,” and there are many resources available to support you on that journey. Seeking community support groups, pre and post natal yoga classes, creative expression, journaling, and therapeutic support are all great ways to foster your village and to embrace your Matrescence as a healing opportunity.
The Benefits of Matrescence
If this all sounds a bit daunting, rest assured there are ample benefits for you and your family during this stage of development.
Research shows that the number of neurons and neural connections in your brain can double during pregnancy and motherhood. It is a time of ripe change where you have the opportunity to redefine your identity, how you show up in the world, and re-write old patterns. This is essentially because continual change begets continual learning and having a child increases your life-long exposure to environmental complexities. You will continue to learn how to parent alongside your child(ren) and in that process your brain will be receiving neuroprotective benefits. This really puts a whole new spin on the often reluctantly sung refrain of “mommy brain!”
Additionally, women often report a shift in identity and values when going through Matrescence. It may include a restructuring of priorities and desires, often centered around community, family, the environment, and regenerative practices. Things I have heard from women are: feeling a connection to a long lineage of ancestors who’ve traveled this path of motherhood before, union with another spirit through the intimate child-caregiver connection, and a desire to ensure a clean future for generations to come.
You can dive deeper into the Psycho-Spiritual aspects of Matresence with me on Instagram and Youtube linked below:
